"Well, Carruthers, I will be blunt. When we throw your torso into the fire, there won't be much left of you. So I will say good-bye now and congratulate you for sacrificing yourself in a jolly good cause. We'll keep warm for hours. What? Can you still speak? What did you say?"

"This is just a weak rip-off of an old Beyond the Fringe sketch, isn't it sir? With Peter Cook and Jonathan Miller."

"Would you like us to hack your head off first? To make this post more original?"