I have been feeling so much fear these last few nights - once in the form of financial panic, another time the fear of letting go of the familiar, another time terror of death (a nightmare of drowning). Then in the mornings I have felt really positive, like a mdeieval knight having won a fight with demons.

It may have something to to do with the homeopathic medicine I am taking. Or my therapy.

This evening I am still afraid - of failure, death, letting go - but also I feel as if I'm about to reach and touch some rage - not pyrotechnic like the fireworks outside, or childish temper losing - but something different that I have never hithrto experienced... A sort of adultness... er...

I'm probably talking nonsense.