Trip down to seafront to buy some fish. Labour Party Conference still in full swing, plus security. Feel a bit miffed that no policeman seems fit to challenge me as a suspicious person.

Sea calm. No sign of drowning MPs. Obviously, my earlier story on the subject was shere fantasy.

On the way back, I passed a bulky, besuited delegate (he had a badge). "Hail to the People's Party!" I said. "Long life to your Leader!"

"Piss off!" he replied, spitting the "piss" word. "Don't you be fucking ironic with me."

Of course he didn't. I made the dialogue up. Why not? I'm poetically licenced.