"There have been no fatal accidents on London Underground," an announcer announces proudly,"during the last twenty minutes."

I must have nodded off ot sleep, waiting for a Circle Line train at Paddington station.

"Customers are reminded that smiling is forbidden on all London Transport trains and platforms. Infringement of this regulation could lead the the conviscation of your Tesco Club card."

"While you have been waiting, the Circle Line had been abolished."