When I was nineteen, and just passed my driving test, I went on a Land Rover familiarisation course in preparation for a long overland trip to the Middle East.

In those days, Land Rover had a simulated jungle at the back of their factory in Solihull. The course was thorough and demanding. One of the things I had to do was drive the vehicle pulling a long heavy tree trunk through undergrowth up a mud bank of 45 degrees.

I got three quarters of the way up the mud bank - and then stuck. We began to slide backwards.

The instructor lent over and released the handbreak which I had forgotten to release before starting the manoevre.

Recently, my attempts to move on and forward have felt a bit like this. I make changes in my life, get a lot of enthusiasm and momentum going, climb three quarters of the way up to the plateau I'm longing to reach... then get stuck in the mud or fall back.

In some metaphorical sense, I am unable or unwilling to release the handbreak.