(it appears to be at least the third time I've given a blog post this title)
There's nothing like overcoming the reason for a panic for me to feel better about myself.
I've had pretty low day, emotionally - waking feeling almost desperate, improving on the train to London and in therapy (it's this horror I have of Christmas and they dysfunctional relationship I have with my mother and sister) - but then, getting back to Brighton and my empty flat I felt down and empty again.
I have resolved to go abroad at least once next year, for at least one fortnight or longer, probably to this health farm in Austria, but maybe to a Spanish lannguage school and/or.
But lets not get carried away - especially with the cost. Just any trip for a whole fortnight is longer than I have managed for a long time. It's ridiculous, I know; although it's partly because of money and not having a travel partner - but mainly pathetic Fear of not upsetting my mum.
Anyhow, this evening I was sinking further and further into low energy zeroness when I realised (for a tedious to repeat reason)I had lost my Travel Pass Wallet. The bits of plastuc that give me free buses, a third off train fares, plus London 6-Zone had disappeared from my pocket.
Major Panic Alert. Searched all rooms, went thru other pockets, bed clothes, hated self a lot. I was putting shoes on to ask at the station (only round the corner) when I found the passes in a place it must have walked to of its own accord.
General relief, celebration. Feeling of Uplift. Depressive negativity swept to one side.
