Here I am, half past four again, already awake for... well, to begin with I try not to open my eyes and check.

It's becoming tedious.  I often fall asleep at 11 or 10 - really early by my standards - but seldom go back to sleep again now. The morning is full of caffienated energy. Then I feel shattered all afternoon - but stay resolutely awake if I lie down for a siesta.

That's the pattern, anyway.

I'm awake and full of panic.  And there are lots of things available to panic about if I'm in the mood:

For example (I've just checked today's date!) I have now been living in Brighton for the exactly 3 months - and I haven't yet been able to unpack. It's a question, mainly, of getting bookshelves built... and I'm spending far too much money... and... and... But I can write about this another time...

Maybe this sleep pattern is related to my dope smoking  - the long term effects still with me, decaying.  After almost 20 years of daily use (and many before that not so regularly) it's not surprising the effect hasn't worn off after just 8 or 9 days of abstaining.

This feels like the paranoid lows without the highs - not that they have been truly high recently.  A sort of low level oblivion.  Yes, I guess this is cold chicken - hash withdrawal's answer to cold turkey.

That way, insomnia can sound almost glamorous.