"You need a new sink," the plumber said with triumph. Because neither or his boss were around he'd taken another half hour break.
"What's wrong with the old one?"
"The clips have gone."
I look at the clips. There seems nothing wrong with them. I say so.
"You need a new sink. Not one of the half-double ones."
"I rather like the second sink."
"You don't want a double sink."
"Well..."
"Yes, I'll plumb up for a single sink. That's what you want. And a new mixer tap."
"Actually, I tell you what I want. To shove that tap down your throat, castrate you with the electric drill, and then saw you in quarters. But as I'm a nice middle class Brit at heart, I'll say nothing, will smile thinly and go and spend over a £100 unnecessarily on a new sink and accesories to help you to feel, erroneously, better about yourself."
