My mother continues to slag of Maria, her Philipinos live-in nurse/ companion behind her back.  It's as if mum has turned into a novice colonial in the Far East before the second world war, enjoying the newly aquired power of slagging off a servant.

"Mrs Philpott would never let anyone leave the drying up on the draining board."  "It's the first time there's ever been Coca Cola in my fridge."  "She can reproduce any recipe I show her how to do but she never changes anything."

And so on.

But when Maria is within earshot, my mother turns on the charm.  For example...

"Alec, I was telling Maria about Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, the wonderful setting in the Philipines..."

Now, my mother may be old, but her mind hasn't gone.  Usually, if she forgets something, she appeals to me for facts.  But this time she wasn't appealing but making an assertion.

I feel embarrassed for her. "When actually mum, it was set in Morrocco.  Casablanca is in Morroco."

Her face arranges itself into a horrified contortion - it says; don't contradict me in front of the servants.  I assume that's what the expression says; we have never had a servant before, and previously her face has never looked like that  "There were all those Japanese troops!" she says, indignant.

"They were French, I promise.  Do you remember all that stuff about de Gaulle?"  She's seen it a hundred times.  I once did a 2 day workshop on the film.  I've got the script somewhere.

She protests,but with less confidence.  Behind me Maria makes as snorty, faintly disdainful kind of chuckle - a noise unheard by my deaf mother, that Maria seems to use quite often.

She is hardworking and caring and intelligent.  But I have no doubt the hatred between them is mutual.