He and I go back a long time, but now he lives in L.A. we seldom find time to talk, Last night we spoke for an hour about pretty well everything in our lives, personal and political. He's a close friend and when we put our phones down I felt very good.
One thing he said, though, disturbed me. Some years ago he almost had a relationship with my ex-girlfriend J - the one who briefly resurfaced in my life two weeks ago. He only didn't go ahead with it because he was unhappily involved with someone he has since broken up with (now he's with someone else).
Why should I be upset? I'm not a jealous guy, surely? Anyway, it was years after we split up - and soon after she split up she went off with another my friends and had a baby (and in some respects they are still together) Yes, both guys were my friends before they met J - and I don't have many close male freinds, but even so...
She is a weird woman, a mixture of over friendly and much darker, moralistic and maninpulative. I can't put my finger on what I find so - fucked up about her. (and in denial - the only sour note in our two hour conversation last Sunday was when I let skip in passing that I though she used to be neurotic). So why can't my good freind see this? It hurts me - despite all our closeness, he has never listened to me side of the story - and I have no desire to revive it all now (but I may find or rewrite an old post describing one incident which will give you a flavour).
In fact J took over almost all our common friends when we broke up - and I met most of them first. I guess I ran away. It was the only way I knew not to have to 'work things out" in her favour. Her reappearance has suddenly opened old wounds. I don't want to go back there. It's over twenty years ago.
Well, I suppose my friend in LA will never get together with her now (though he does get through relationships rather quickly). But if they do, I can't see our friendship surviving.
I wish I could explain how much I hate her.
