I don't know about the rest of you, but I am always been drawn into the world of the novel I'm reading.  The characters, the plot, the narrative style.  Why does every day life suddenly seem particularly bleak, or paradoxical or meaningless?  Often it takes time for me to realise that I am seeing everything through the prism of my current novelist.


For example, when I was reading Graham Greene novels back to back in my twenties, it's only a slight exaggeration to say I was often feeling the urge to top myself.

Anyway, I realised in therapy yesterday that all my important relationships have been with women who could have been characters invented by Dostoevky.

Aged 17-18, and before Ihad ever had a girlfriend, I read The Devils, The Idiot, Crime and Punishment, Brothers Karamazov one after the other.  The heroines are all slightly unhinged - beautiful souls but inexplicable mood swings.  Strange, difficult, but good.  His heros love them and are saved.

I simplify outrageously.  I have fogotten the individual charactaritics of most of them.  The women I have chosen in my life so far only resembled these imaginary women in my imagination.  But nevertheless...

The most famous of all these women is Sonya in Crime and Punishment, a prostitute who helps Razkolnikov, the murderer-hero, redeem himself.  Did I really expect Vanessa to bring me some sort of redemption?  For a murder I didn't commit?  Reluctantly, in blog-therapy mode, I have to admit I did.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions of novels to read which would point me in the direction of less complicated, neurotic, destructive women.