This is hellish.
I have been wanting/trying to sleep for five hours. I'm dead tired, but prickly, restless full of anger and despair. I drifted off once, into a lovely dream, boderline erotic then jumped out of it. I can't concentrate to read - or to meditate. I'm silently screaming.
Everything is coming to a head in my life - or rather nothing is. I feel I'm about to snap in half.
Perhaps if I write all this down it will leave me alone. Whatever "it" is. Perhaps I'll erase this in the morning, embarrassed.
I've got my weekly therapy session tomorrow - but pychotherapy is opening me up, not closing me down. I don't know if I can take been opened up.
It's if my mother has got lodged inside my head - her father pushing her in and shouting.. Everything is a problem, even a harmless dream.
Give me a break. Someone give me a break.
Hey you aren't alone! - I've just come online here at 3am, having made myself a drink. I woke half hour ago and couldn't get back to sleep - mind you in my case, hot flushes don't help!
I find that my mind is always over active when I have alot of things flying around in my head and like you I find its best to write it down.
Jan