I hesitate befoe writing yet another post about my mother.  But, first of all I write this blog for my own benefit, and doesn't want to read about her, they can always skip the post.

My mother has a heavy cold, on top of the pain and fever created by the abscess, now burst, in her ear.  The antiobiotics haven't kicked in yet.

Before the cold and the abscess she could hardly walk - apparently a side effect of taking too many sleeping pills.  Now, when she needs them more than ever she has stopped take them altogether.

Before the walking problem, she had a bad stomach bug for two weeks.  Now she is hardly eating anything.

Before the stomach bug, she had a problem with her eyes, which has stopped her reading - and now, with the cold she can't even attempt the crossword.

Before the problem with her eyes...  Frankly, I've forgotten.

She is so needy.  She is adament she will not go  into a home.  She has home help every day, but only likes one of the women who helps.

It puts an incredible strain on my sister and me (and my mum's younger sister, who is about to come down for a visit).  My sister has stopped taking her steroids and her frosen should and back pain has returned.  It is hard for her to drive the 2 hours to my mum's house.  But she will go on doing it because she is a martyr.  That is she feels deep guilt that however much she does for my mother, she doesn't give or feel 'real love'.

Has my other even given her 'real love'?  That qestion is taboo.  Sis has chosen a therapist/counsellor who has promised never to challenge her relationship with her - and my - mum. (what kind of therapy is that? The kind which goes with od-ing on antidepressants.)

My sister feels bleak.

My mother feels bleak.

But, having written  this, I am feeling a lot better.

I'm going down to see and look after my mother tomorrow.