No drugs (or booze; little caffeine for that matter) but three and a half months after my stroke, I am beginning to feel good about myself again.
@ 2014-10-29 – 23:44:17
@ 2014-10-28 – 21:30:21
I want something amazing to happen in my life - happy, exciting, creative, profound. I am sick of being thought sick (from my stroke), tired of the mains hum, fed up of being cared for and not loved, tired of the tepid, of exhaustion, of shop-worn politeness, tired of not taking risks, of not reaching high C... choking with desire, sick with apprehension I may never meet you.
@ 2014-10-28 – 05:04:54
The GP's Drugs Don't Work
The Homeopath's don't work much either, plus they make me pee and pee
Bio Trust's concoctions don't seem to help much but they come with videos to say they do.
Sleep only comes in four hour doses.
Carers sometimes go on holiday.
@ 2014-10-27 – 22:06:09
Is David Cameron heading for a nervous breakdown?
How will we know?
@ 2014-10-25 – 10:01:44
Maybe the days have gone when an Old Etonian is the best man (or, ha, ha, woman) for the job of PM. Cameron's blushed-cheek outburst at the might-be-expected last minute increase in the UK's annual EU contribution (there's some ajustment made every year) suggest's deep mental instability - and his dear friend and fellow public schoolboy George Osborne didn't dare tell him for 48 hours, suggesting a fear of the tory leader's adolescent tantrums.
Why not a direct job swap with Nigel Farange? Nigel has suggested the Government just gives in to the EU and pays up, once and for all proving Brussels is Babylon without the sunshine, before trumphantly withdrawing our great country from almost all international obligations.
What a prang!
@ 2014-10-23 – 23:04:50
I wish my imagination would run away with me (as it does sometimes)... I wish I could paint pictures in the sky... play music to inspire... ... recreate cities on a human scale... I wish I could sing.
@ 2014-10-23 – 19:37:43
Someone told me today that all Homeopathic Medicine is a load of baloney and nonsense. But half an hour ago I took some arnica to alleviate the aches and pains I was feeling after a strenuous Pilates session to ease some of my tight muscles - and the arnica is working.
Now a lot of the homeopathic repetoir is not so obviously effective, but lot of it does work, if you know the right, wise homeopathic doctor to administer it. And, as anyone knows who has been prescribed the wrong conventional medicine - with nasty side effects, no healing system is perfect.
@ 2014-10-23 – 05:08:55
The dog sang Verdi in baritone but as soon as he finished the cottage cheese and put down the teaspoon I realised it was a dream.
Now the little dog laughed and switched to K-Pop. No sign of a cow moon-jumping, though.
@ 2014-10-22 – 21:28:24
In fact,I am nothing like as strange and eccentric as I used to think. And - as someone has already commented - does it matter that much anyway? In fact, compared to Nigel Farange I look like a Professor of Moral Philosophy. And I am bored of people treating Farange as a Saviour, just because he drinks lots of British beer.
In fact he is a teeth-bloated, deranged imbecile who dreams that the world exists for his private amusement.
But it does not.
Now the failure of the established political class to confront Farange and let him dazzle them with his feeble headlights only goes to show it's high time we chose a new, fearless form of democratic politics and moved on.
Don't ask me to do it single-handed.
@ 2014-10-21 – 21:20:53
...am I so strange?
Frank answers appreciated.
@ 2014-10-20 – 22:34:15
God is a rust-red flying llama-snail with a beautiful baritone singing voice. God's name is Winifred and one (or more) of God's Host of Angels (GHOA) is liable to put you to Death if you do not Believe in Him (or Her). Alternatively you may relish Butterscotch and Almond Ice Cream in a double-blind test carried out in the grounds of Hampton Court Palace (south west of london).
@ 2014-10-19 – 22:30:20
My mood swings high again (what a moody sod I can be sometimes). I've been looking at some houses I might be able to buy, and though not one is right so far, I am enjoying looking and thinking what I want. Leonor, who is my homeopath and prt time - while I need it part time paid house keeper (and/but has three children and happily married) went around with three with me on Saturday (one of the esate agents was nasty to me, but that's another story which I may well tell presntly).
Prices are high here, particularly near the railway station..,
Why do I want to move? Well, bus journeys take time, my flat is pretty small... and, er, I am currently living in an old people's home.
@ 2014-10-19 – 13:39:20
The sun is bright. For October, it's warm. But I'm full of gloom. Defeat and gloom. In an ideal world, I'd like to fall in love again. But then, in an ideal world, there would be no need to fall in love. Would there?
@ 2014-10-19 – 03:48:32
This time, God will return to us, God the Son, preaching salvation as a modest but charismatic Vampire Bat. This time I doubt if he will be crucified, but there could well be other complications, justifying at least one major TV series...
(Now I really must get back to sleep.)
@ 2014-10-18 – 09:26:51
Nww that the current Pope has been taking a less hostile line to homosexuality reminds me of a quotation from a biography I read at Uni, of the moral puritan Giralamo Savanarola who ruled Florence as a moral dictator in the late fifteenth century. Eventually he was overthrown and burnt at the stake.
One local monk wrote "Praise be to God! Now once more we can practice Sodomy."
@ 2014-10-17 – 18:06:29
I am feeling sad and depressed. I want to smile.
@ 2014-10-16 – 23:40:03
Supposing we were all orphans.
Babies drift down from heaven in winged baskets and... we all lived in communes ready to love and nurture them.
@ 2014-10-16 – 05:23:31
Awake again in the depths of the night, with indigestion and...and...rage, I guess, ill-defined rage.
Too complicated to explain.
It's the long aftermath of my stroke, I suppose. Nothing paralysed, no functions impaired as far as I can tell, although I have bouts of unpredictable exhaustion. More prectictable is my rage against my mother and one and a half sisters.
I want to kill lots of people, often ill defined. I want to be able to fly and bomb Farange's mug-grin and Cameron's cheeks and...
Yes, in this mood I am moderately mad. But I feel a lot better for writing it
allsome of it down.
Whether I will now sleep or not is another matter.
@ 2014-10-13 – 21:54:11
Isn't it time the Brits pioneered a new, sweaty, probably football type game, involving high energy, occasional bouts of violence, and a role for trapeze artists, cocaine and possibly the Prince of Wales?
We have conquered the world with so many games, most of which we used to win.
If anyone has other suggestions (Tennis-ball Golf? Contact Fish Warbling? Underwater Rythmn Preaching?) please list them here.
@ 2014-10-12 – 20:42:12
Alan Sugar, the UK Apprentice's angel, has announced that Ed Milliband is not someone "who one would like to embrace."
Quick. Stop politics. The Labour Party should change its leader immediately to mollify a moderately succesful businessman.
@ 2014-10-12 – 11:42:26
My sister phoned me from my mother's house this morning in a stae of angry despair. Mum is now effectively demanding 24 hour attention from her, and the two carers who share the week - and are expected to answer her bell calls throughout the night.
Mum expects immediate attention when she calls for it. If she went back to a nursing home, it's improbable she would get that.
Since my stroke, I have not yet got my doctor's permission - or my own confidence - to drive to my mother's - it's about 40 miles cross country. We are now into the season of weekend Rail Improvement Works, so I haven't seen her for a few weeks (and my therapist thinks weekly visits are harmful to my mental health). But I'm going to London tomorrow for a party and have booked a hotel for overnight - so I will probably come back via mum's house the following day.
My sister's implication is that mum is almost crazy and, aged 99, she may be near to death.
For a long time, the Catholic Priest has not called.
@ 2014-10-10 – 08:34:44
I don't know how I got to be wearing wading boots or got down to Brighton's main sewer, but the sound of music led me on. There ahead of me was an open topped thirties car with four jolly, felt-hatted musicians playing Jerusalem, with Kyle Minogue about to sing "And did those feet in ancient time tread upon England's mountain..?"
I felt giddy and faintly disturbed. Then Nigel Farange (remember him?) appeared and French-kissed Kyle, as a disembodied Charlton Heston Athletic told me this was a dream.
Fancy me not realising.
@ 2014-10-09 – 22:58:17
I have lost my bus and train pass yet AGAIN!
Please someone suggest a pratical, non masochistic solution that does not involve expensive private travel (or for that matter too much physical exertion)
@ 2014-10-08 – 13:40:23
The price of mink fur for a coat has halved in the past year.
@ 2014-10-08 – 09:54:15
Well, in fact you probably didin't realise that I've had a technical fuckup and have been off line for about a week. But the mere threat of a visit from one of Brighton's famous Mac Men this afternoon has returned this blog site to rude health on my computer.
Nrxt time I will find something more interesting to say.
@ 2014-09-27 – 22:05:27
Which god should I worship to find my bus pass?
@ 2014-09-27 – 21:29:10
I have lost my bus pass and my discount rail card.
I have pulled my flat apart (pockets, nooks, crannies) searching for them. In vain. They are not easy to replace. Much easier is to shout abuse at myself.
Tra. la. la. (This is my attempt to be calm and not self abusive) (Pathetic)
@ 2014-09-27 – 04:50:31
Am I awake?
Why am I alive?
Isn't there a third question I want to ask?
@ 2014-09-25 – 21:48:17
@ 2014-09-25 – 21:02:18
It is not advisable to read this post without first speaking to Mildred.