...which suggests, as I turn over, that I have fallen asleep too early and I am immersed in a vivid, silly dream.
@ 2015-03-03 – 21:57:46
@ 2015-03-03 – 15:09:39
I feel happy.
@ 2015-03-03 – 14:44:45
All my medical problems could well be solved if I could secure a regular source of Mectamicin Pl. But, extraordinarily, I have yet to find a reference to this near-miracle drug on the internet. Anyone got any suggestions?
@ 2015-03-03 – 10:36:15
(This is by far the best weigh to lose wait.)
@ 2015-03-03 – 02:26:29
Is it cancer? Is it a frown?
@ 2015-03-02 – 20:22:51
Sometimes I feel too bored, or too shy, to explain.
One thing I wtell you (though, in the end, nothing may come of it) I decided today that I will attempt tp write a book of short stories.
Apart from a few ultra short, rather silly ones in my two other BCUK blogs I have never really persevered with the genre, except in my head or rabbiting on to friends.
It's high time I tried.
Anyone who has got anyideas that you think might be suitable for my imagination - and don't want to to save use for themselves. give me a metaphorical shout, lol.
@ 2015-03-02 – 16:16:29
(You hadn't the faintest clue I had lost them, did you?)
Three hours of panic!!! And isn't there a pare spair? spare?
in an ideal world, I would like to be reincarnated with perfect vision and pitch.
@ 2015-03-01 – 23:35:41
But why did we have to be shunted in and out of Littlehampton?
(Isn't that the home of the great UKIP leader, Pint'o Pantomime Farange?)
@ 2015-03-01 – 08:39:50
I'm off to see my mother again today, travelling by train with a little bus interlude in the middle.
She is very frail. Her hearing is very poor: On the phone, I'm never sure if she is goig to tell me to speak louder or softer. I have been bambarded by American on line medical companies selling allegedly miracle cure tablets, but can they be trusted? Would a GP trust them. Or my sister?
The main problem at the moment is mum's unease about the second Phillipino carer, who works weekends. (Maria, the first one, is fine, but feels under strain.)
My sister feels compelled to visit every Fiday-Saturday because of the friction between mum and the second carer, Lydia (she is, by the way, a good cook, but not so good at pronouncing English).
To find another carer to fit in is not easy.
At this point, you may well be wondering why we don't send mum to a care home (and hang the expense). She will be 100 years old in mid July.
But - as those lotal followers of of mine with long memories may recall - we have had bad experiences with care homes - the last one disastrous (the managements, among other things, tried to ban my visits). The fact is, mum is very demanding and rings her bell....
(Pause to take phone call from my sister; apparently mum has kept Lydia up all night but has now forgotten.)
The fact is, our mum is very old, and very distreessed and very demanding and when she goes we will cryand cry.
@ 2015-03-01 – 00:15:24
At last. I'm starving - but there's no chance of a chocolate digestive biscuit.
I suddenly feel pathetic.
And - out of the blue - I hate my ex-step brother who I never see.
@ 2015-02-28 – 22:25:10
never got many name checks on Facebook compared to his brother.
Cuthbert hated Rudolph.
The one day he got an eating disorder, lost a lot of weight and people began to confuse Cuthbert with Rudolph. They were pysically indentical
"I'm Rudolph" said Cuthbert to the Hollwood producer. "Can I star in your film?"
"No, I'm looking for Cuthbert" said the producer. "He's got a more intersting back story."
@ 2015-02-28 – 19:56:50
I will set your death to music and call it opera. The audience will feel elated, purified and shout their elation over the final chords, the shattering drums.
And you, besutifully perhaps, will die.
@ 2015-02-28 – 18:24:13
I've just had briefing from a visiting Angel that it's all change at Peter's Gate. Old systems are going to go at the blink of an eye very soon. Hell is being renamed - although just as frightening. Paradise is more or less closed to new entrants while refurbishment takes place (after an oubreak of FLLD - five legged lamb disease) and Limbo is being revived, initially run by a private contractor.
In fact, most of us will be suspended in Limbo for several millenia while the ONE GOD decides what the fuck to do with us.
@ 2015-02-28 – 15:56:39
Startling claim opens way to hydrualic-theology, multi-reincarnations of Tony Blair and violent games to play while waiting for a bus.
@ 2015-02-28 – 03:17:53
When I wake up in the night, and fail to fall asleep again, my brain then my body fills up with despair and self hatred.
What have I to forgive myself for?
Do you feel the same?
@ 2015-02-27 – 22:28:08
I'm tired of feeling tired, and all pinched up.
I deserve to breathe deeply, all of the day and all of the night.
@ 2015-02-27 – 20:58:53
My Galaxy 5 battery has been getting less and less efficiient at charging - and, I discovered today, inefficient at delivering some messages. So I took it to 02 to organise a swap.
It didn't cost too much, in the end, because they gave me £50 in credit for the Galaxy. In exchange I got an iPhone something which so far (eg one call) seems to be superior...
Who am I kidding? I am hypnotised by the clean icon heavy design. Mine is a white one. Oooh!
But (Complicated person that I am) I also have this fantasy that the "civilised world" will wake up one day and discover that the iPhone - and the Mac I am writing this on now - are a load of ultra smooth crap.
@ 2015-02-27 – 10:07:26
I am under strict instuctions never to add salt to any cooking, or - this is harder - to eat anything with salt added, including in restaurants.
My dishwasher, on the other hand, continues to demand huge quantities of salt and appears unable to give up its addiction.
@ 2015-02-27 – 03:47:20
You will vapourise, for a moment.
@ 2015-02-26 – 19:20:43
Unpleasant, but liberating in small, regular doses.
@ 2015-02-26 – 05:56:12
Of course it was you fool! I can't sleep properly, for indigestion. Can't yet even manage a dream of Maddonna falling.
@ 2015-02-26 – 02:56:23
My imminent dream will also include Niagara and Some Like it Hot.
@ 2015-02-25 – 21:16:49
Loved his Roll Up.
Which was mental,
'Cos there were
No mind-altering drugs inside.
"Wow!" He grinned. "This ia heavy!" he cried.
@ 2015-02-25 – 19:15:31
I am cuckoo-crazy. Round the bend. Deranged. Flatulant. Pengorid. Bisondomorphic, Overweight, undernourished. Syringed. Overdrawn. Sentaphonic. Untidy. Cekolyptic. Underpriced. In tune. Mad.
@ 2015-02-24 – 20:59:12
I'm feeling ill - or very, very tired.
Hush! It would be so nice to sleep for twelve, or even thirteen hours, and then awake with a smile.
@ 2015-02-24 – 17:33:59
I'm feeling more than usually bloated today.
As if I have swallowed a large balloon, probably dark blue, and it's being inflated inside my stomach by a silent but relentless electric pump.
It's not a nice feeling.
I want it to stop.
@ 2015-02-23 – 23:56:46
Dad, I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment...
Go On. Send me a message.
@ 2015-02-23 – 21:47:18
It wasn't until April 2043. when Moses Himself stepped out of the pink capsule that had landed in Oxford Street in the space where Selfridges used to be and began to sing his hit "Uh?", accompanied by an invisible choir of gay archangels, that I realised that the world had gone bonkers. Eternal Life didn't seem to make much sense, but it certainly wasn't going to be boring.
"Hello, SYDNEY!" Moses yelled. Oh, fuck it. They had landed in the wrong hemisphere.
@ 2015-02-23 – 16:42:34
It's too late for my siesta. And too cold.
What the hell.
@ 2015-02-23 – 12:18:20
I am well, and sadly alone, but I am spending this morning in bed.